Backlog Brilliance is a segment that takes you back in time – to the Synergyzer of Yesteryear. This particular piece is from the first ever Synergyzer published in 2003.
On a humorous note, Roohi Ali elucidates the truth behind the ever-so-busy schedule of the Pakistani bosses
Amidst the cacophony of several phones ringing incessantly in an ostentatiously decorated MD office of a leading Pakistani Business House, a bleached-haired secretary while filling her already impeccably manicured nails answers the phone.
By Roohi Ali
“Sorry, Sir is in a meeting. Any message?” is the standard Pakistani reply for those who dare wish to get through to the boss the very first time they call.
At the end of the day, the despaired individual decides to personally visit the boss hoping to have better luck this way. Once again, the secretary bats her eyelashes bashfully, “Sorry, Sir is very busy in a meeting, a very important deal, wait or make an appointment for tomorrow.”
After an endless wait of 7 days, the individual finally has the honour of meeting the boss who once again is in a meeting but decides to spare a few minutes from his tight schedule.
Watching the trying-to-look-busy secretary fluttering in and out of the boss’ office, reality soon dawns on the individual that the boss obviously has a roving eye for the pretty young thing. With a casual glance at the shelves and hidden cabinets, the individual decides that the boss is a heavy drinker and likes reading Frederick Forsyth, Eddy Shah, company profiles and the pink pages of glossy magazines.
While waiting to be entertained in the boss’ office, trying to catch chunks of the important matter being discussed in the meeting, the individual realises that the boss certainly thinks that politicians stink but is obviously happy to do business with them. The boss cultivates ‘Goras’ and local bureaucrats, and often mixes business with their illicit pleasure in Europe. The important meeting also reveals to the individual that the boss plays golf and walks regularly in Gymkhana and thoroughly enjoys occasional dinners cum operas at five-star hotels. The individual does not find it too difficult to figure out that much of the busy boss’ time is spent seducing other’s spouses, feasting, going on vacations, jousting, and generally having a good time.
Sloth is the Pakistani boss’ favourite vice and slothful boss is extremely intelligent to survive. The boss knows, to be the person of means and not to let work interfere with leisure or lazing around, takes more than planning. It requires a killer’s instinct.
Walk into the boss’ office and find how they depict the true pictures of “Lying on the Bed” or “An Apology for Idlers.” Pakistani Bosses have perfected the art of sloth and know perfectly well that Adam and Eve just wandered around all day naked doing nothing and had it not been for a little culinary indiscretion, they would still be having a ball. And for that indiscretion, they are thrown on the earth to work for a living. So, work, which just happens to be a four-letter word, was actually a punishment, not something that should be sought out and actively encouraged.
What we need is to bring sloth out of these dreary walls and hand them over to type-A personality executives to whom being lazy has become sinful.
